I’m Not Dead, I Swear

I’m in the middle of 29+ hours worth of work all due this week, but I needed a quick break. Coldplay popped up on shuffle and I had to confess my love of Chris Martin to someone because I’ve kept it a secret long enough.

I’m in the midst of a celibacy vow, but hot damn if that man doesn’t make me want to touch myself.

You know, if I can forget about his twit of a wife and his pretentiously named children. And his overall douche bag persona. Every time I hear a song of his and start thinking about how much I adore him they ruin it. Wives and children and douche bag personas ruin everything.

Oh, and Jay-Z. He ruins everything, too. But I’d file him under douche bag persona.

This seems to be turning into the “Let’s stroll down memory lane with music” site. I have so many things to get off of my chest, but I don’t really have the strength or desire to delve into that can of worms right now. My health being the biggest issue I want to avoid. So instead, let’s listen to one of the saddest songs ever, at least for me. It conjures up memories of my failed relationship with Jeremy, mainly because he loved it so much. Of course, he also love ‘Something’, too, so maybe he’s just a Patti Boyd fan? If you get that reference, you’re as big of a dork as I am.

Just FYI, today is the first day of the rest of my life and I don’t care how cliche that sounds; things are changing. They have to, or I won’t survive.

I just found out that the Killers did a cover of my favorite Dire Straits song ever Romeo and Juliet.

My old roommate, Joe, used to sing this song to me all the time. He’d start serenading me at the most random times just to make me smile. In the grocery store, in the car, from the other room as I was falling asleep.

The song brings back a lot of good memories and hearing it makes me miss him so much.

Of course he did the Indigo Girls rendition, which I adore as well.  He especially loved to belt out the line “Julieeee, I’m so in love.” in public in an attempt to embarrass me. I especially loved when he sang the line “I love you like the stars above, I’m gonna love you ’til I die” because when he sang it I knew I’d have someone that loved me forever.

I haven’t spoken to him in at least 8 years.

I miss him.

I miss who I was when I was with him.

Noah and the Whale’s Beating

Don’t build the castle
At your centre
Oh the heart can’t love
What it can’t remember
Be willing to be hurt
Oh be willing to be bruised
‘Cos a heart that dosen’t love
Is a heart that isn’t used

Oh turn your love to life
Let your love shine through
In everything you do
Let your love shine through

Oh I thought I felt my heart beating
Well I thought I’d never know that feeling
Oh I thought I felt my heart beating
Well I thought I’d never know that feeling

Well my heart was like a cave
Now light shines in it
Oh to fall in love is brave
So if you’ve got love give it
Oh my heart was like a stone
That barely moved
Oh my heart was like a magnet
Oh for hearts like yours

Oh turn your love to life
Let your love shine through
In everything you do
Let your love shine through

This is my favorite Bob Dylan song.

Obviously.

I don’t think I’ve ever posted it though. Enjoy.

Mixed-Up Confusion 

I got mixed up confusion
Man, it’s a-killin’ me

Well, there’s too many people
And they’re all too hard to please

Well, my hat’s in my hand
Babe, I’m walkin’ down the line

An’ I’m lookin’ for a woman
Whose head’s mixed up like mine

Well, my head’s full of questions
My temperature’s a risin’ fast

Well, I’m lookin’ for some answers
But I don’t know who to ask

But I’m walkin’ and wonderin’
And my poor feet don’t ever stop

Seein’ my reflection
I’m hung over, hung down, hung up!

I can’t sleep. There are a million and two things going through my head and nothing I can do about any of them. I’ve also been feeling very hug-needy. Which, is not only an odd phrase, it’s an odd feeling for me. I usually enjoy my bubble to be free of other people, but for some reason I think a hug would solve everything right now.

The boy (Who seems to have me stumped in terms of a pseudonym. He’s lovely and smart and sexy and funny and his name begins with a J. Suggestions welcome.) made me a mixtape via USB:

I told you he was awesome. It makes me extremely happy when I listen, and I would share it, but I want to be selfish and keep it all to myself. It makes me feel special; is that silly?

This is one of the songs on the tape, and it makes me smile every time I hear it, especially the part when he says crabcake. I have no idea why, but if something makes me smile this much I’m not going to question it.

Also, in the stock photo of the USB mixtape, Sufjan’s name is written. Not that it’s of much importance, but I’m odd and notice weird things like that.I have class at 8:00 tomorrow and I have to be up in 5-ish hours. Fun times.

Meh.

I just got the Sesame Street box set with tons of kickass songs, but this is by far my favorite and I thought I’d share.

Yes, I am a moron. But not as cheesy as Michael Stipe in this video. Pure love.

This video always makes me happy and as a result I can’t hear the song without wanting to skip and dance around. Even despite the somewhat sad lyrics.

I’ve had a shitty day. I just want to skip and dance around a bit.

I adore this video and her accent. She’s my newest musical love.

I’ve been so busy lately. School is to blame. But, honestly, I enjoy the camaraderie. I enjoy my hours and hours locked up inside the computer lab studying because I’m surrounded by people who actually understand my retarded sense of humor. We laugh non-stop everyday over the most geeky jokes. I guess I just feel more comfortable surrounded by boys.

The downside? I am surrounded by boys.

Ha!

They are smelly and crude. They eat anything in sight. They are rubbing off on me. And unfortunately because of that I’m a fat cow again.

It’s just proof that being a girl and being old makes it easier to gain weight. I am around them 95% of the day. We spend over 18 hours a day on campus, and I even go bike riding, hiking, and to parties with them. They consume 12 times more calories than me and don’t workout any more than I do. I’m at the rec center everyday, they don’t even bother to go most of the time.

It’s not like it’s just one or two boys, either. There is a group of about 10 to 15 boys that I regularly spend my days with and they’re all thin (and mostly hot, unfortunately for me).

How the fuck can they be rails and I be a fat cow?! Why is mother nature so cruel?!

So, here’s the deal. I’m going on a strict diet of water and. And air. I’ve simply gotten to the point that I disgust myself.

I’m sure the cute little 19 year old girls around campus aren’t boosting my ego much either. Damn them and their perfect metabolisms.